TradiMixCOUNT BINFACE VS FARAGE: BRITAIN'S BALLOT HAS LITERALLY BECOME A BIN
Ce qui s'est passé
🇬🇧 Clacton, Essex, is holding a parliamentary by-election with Nigel Farage facing an extraordinary field of 33 rivals. The ballot contains 34 names and has been reported at roughly three feet long. Among them is Count Binface, the comic candidate played by writer and comedian Jonathan Harvey, appearing in his silver-and-black bin-shaped helmet and claiming to come from Sigma IX. His deliberately absurd platform includes restoring Pluto's planetary status, quieter cinema snacks, fairer arcade claw machines and knighthoods for Wallace and Gromit.
This song turns that surreal ballot into a British political music-hall number. It contrasts Binface's openly ridiculous promises with the language and rituals of Westminster, while presenting Farage as the disruptive figure at the centre of the contest. The recurring joke is simple: when a literal bin appears on the ballot, who is really supplying the comedy? Like all satire, this song uses exaggeration, irony and caricature to contribute to public debate.
Musically, it plays as brisk British music hall and Victorian-style vaudeville: jaunty pub piano, brass, tuba, trombone, clarinet, banjo and snare beneath a theatrical male vocal and a deliberately oversized singalong chorus.
[HOOK] Thirty-four names on a three-foot sheet, Clacton’s got a dustbin running for the seat, Count Binface landed from Sigma Nine, But Westminster’s circus wrote the punchline.
[VERSE 1] Farage left the seat and stood again, While Westminster played its old refrain, Labour stepped aside, the Tories did too, And thirty-four names came marching through. A silver-black helmet, a bin for a face, Jonathan Harvey entered the race, But stranger than a warrior from Sigma Nine Is the system telling you everything’s fine.
[PRE-CHORUS] They call Farage a danger, a rebel, a stunt, For saying the things they’d rather confront, Mind your words, stay polite, stay inside the line, While the country asks who drew the line.
[CHORUS] COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! A dustbin running in a parliamentary race, COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! But Westminster’s wearing the funnier face, Thirty-four names in one long line, And Farage says the system needs redesign.
[VERSE 2] Binface wants Pluto restored by decree, Quieter cinema snacks for you and me, Fairer claw machines down at the arcade, Wallace and Gromit properly knighted and made. At least when the Count makes promises absurd, Everybody laughs because they’ve heard, But Westminster speaks in polished disguise, With careful phrases and politically correct lies.
[PRE-CHORUS] Say the approved words, repeat the approved view, Smile for the cameras, whatever you do, Don’t upset the experts, don’t question the line, Then Farage walks in and says, “No, thanks — I’m fine.”
[CHORUS] COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! A dustbin running in a parliamentary race, COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! But Westminster’s wearing the funnier face, Thirty-four names in one long line, And Farage says the system needs redesign.
[BRIDGE] From polished speeches to Westminster spin, They tell you who’s respectable before you begin, One wrong opinion and eyebrows rise, One awkward question and out come the sighs. So let Binface joke and let Farage speak, Let voters decide what they actually seek, No censor’s pencil, no approved refrain, Just mark your ballot and let Britain explain.
[FINAL CHORUS] COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! A dustbin running in a parliamentary race, COUNT BINFACE! COUNT BINFACE! But Westminster’s wearing the funnier face, Thirty-four names in one long line, Let Clacton choose — the decision is mine.
[OUTRO] A helmet, a dustbin, a candidate line, A warrior claiming he’s from Sigma Nine, But here is the joke that Westminster missed: The strangest thing on the ballot Might not be Binface.